Saturday, February 4, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Untitled
my past picked up and left today
I guess it decided to quit haunting me
We had it out one day recently
I shouted some things like,
"stop hurting me"
"stop clouding my future
with your painful existence"
then my past whispered back,
"stop acting like you didn't live this"
"my pain, my hurt, it molded you,
now that your stronger what am i to"
I cried and i cried because i know its the truth
my pain my struggle my anger my youth
I fought for my life
nail and tooth
I NEED my past to complete me
so I chases it down, pleading
"Please don't leave"
"I'm incomplete without you
and i'll wear you on my sleeve"
"
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
For Grandma
Dear Grandma Wilson,
They say you never know how much a person means to you until they are gone. That statement is so true. For the past 18 years of my life you have been a supporter and an inspiration. No matter how many people wrote me off over the years, you never did. You constantly told me, "prove them wrong."
From the first time you sat me down and talked to me, I acknowledged you as grandma. Although I did not come from your bloodline, you always treated me just like I was one of yours. When Tynesha and I stopped speaking for that year---it did not stop you from noticing me. When I got locked up at 16, you supported me and and I could never tell you how much that meant to me. I appreciate you so much. You honesty was raw and unrelenting. Your love was unconditional and your words were straight to the point.
*Memory- I remember that night Ty, Sade and I had guys in your basement while you were out. You came home unannounced and the guys ran out the back door. You found a condom in your basement and everybody denied it. I got punished for it because Jettie believed it was me. When you looked me in my eye and told me that you KNEW it wasn't me, my punishment no longer mattered.
After I was told that you had cancer, I thought to myself, "oh, she will be fine." When I talked to you, we joked about how you were going to come back from this with more vitality and brutal honesty. You said, "I'm not leaving just yet." That was shortly before Thanksgiving, it was only two days into the new year that you left this world. I regret not coming to see you Thanksgiving evening with my husband and sons. I did not know that would be my final opportunity to do so.
I wish i had visited you before you left. I wasn't brave enough. I couldn't bear to see you sick. You have always been so strong, so independent. I refused to see you like that. Just like i couldn't look at you today. I started toward you casket and i had to look away.
NO WOMAN has spoken wiser words to me then you. I miss you all ready. Im thankful that you raised my only real friend in life. She is so much like you that I could never forget you. I appreciate every conversation we had and the guidance you have given me.
Love,
Sharita
RIP Mary Isabell Wilson 1944-2012
Monday, September 12, 2011
I am a college student now
Well, i did it--i went back to school. I have never been much of a school person. My intellect is undeniable but honestly i have never been a "good" student. The last school i graduated from was middle school. I would not have graduated from high school because i hated it. As soon as i turned 16, i dropped out. I attended a community college when i was 17, but that ended in pregnancy. When i was 20 i decided that i wanted to be a Medical Assistant. The education in itself is great to have but i have no to desire to be medically responsible of a person in any capacity. Although i completed the course successfully, i was not allowed to graduate due to my poor attendance.
For years, people have told me that i should further pursue my writing. I honestly feel like i could be a better writer. I guess thats why im majoring in English. im actually sitting in my English class right now--bored. According to my instructor, i need a lot of work on my writing skills before i am capable of being considered a good writer.
