I know it seems like i just abandoned my blog. I did. My life got too real. I miss writing, thinking, processing through paper so to say.
I gave birth to Kareem Ahmad Robertson on December 19th, 2010 at 12:13p.m. My husband was the only one there--that's how i wanted it to be. Its hard to put to words how i felt as i bought forth new life---his new life....but it was beautiful. As he wiped away my tears and sweat and told me how much he loved me, it didn't hurt so bad. When he looked at me and said, "i see hair"--i could see the apprehension in his face as he realized he was moments away from being a father. Don't get me wrong since the day i said "i do", he has been an excellent father to Khalil but there is nothing like knowing that you have created new life. He does all the things Khalil's father won't do and keeping the promises that his (Khalil's) father makes and breaks.
Immediately after i birthed this 7 pound baby, that feeling was there again. Bliss. I never knew that i could fall in love again after Khalil until I looked Kareem in his eyes. Wally held him for like an hour straight before i could hold him. Khalil was such a little man, he is going to be a great big brother. He looks exactly like his father---except his eyes. He has my eyes and an old man's spirit. I birth old men--i swear. For the 2 days i stayed in the hospital when Khalil and Wally left for the night--i just stared at him. I was in awe at the fact that this baby came from me!
It has been 8 days now. 4 am feeding and getting pissed on doesn't deter me one bit...i was made for this. Wally has adapted wayyyy better than i expected. He sucks at changing diapers but just making an attempt is wonderful. I don't care that he takes the night shift every night and i still end up woke by 4 because there are a million women out here who wish they had someone to lend a helping hand. I love my husband more and more everyday---sometimes i don't think he realizes (or maybe i don't show) how much i appreciate him. I would be lying if i said he has not grown these past 10 months. 10 months---we have been married for only ten months but it feels like a lifetime. Last night while we were lying in the bed he looked to me and said, "i wish we would have done this sooner"....all i could say was "everything happens when it supposed to". I NEVER thought i would be someones wife, let alone HIS. I didn't believe i would bring forth another child, yet he is here. I guess anything is possible--even things which we believe to be impossible. I have a family now.
